


Broken Clocks

by High_Vi0let



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - The Time Traveler's Wife, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Use, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, I love stan and bill too much, M/M, Stenbrough, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14129607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/High_Vi0let/pseuds/High_Vi0let
Summary: The first time Bill meets Stan he’s 6 and Stan’s 24. However, the first time Stan meets Bill he's 18 and so is Bill. Despite Stan not fully realising it then, Bill and Stan had known each other for nearly half their lives. It was just at different times is all.(A time travellers wife AU no one asked for)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based off of a story I'd read on the site a few years ago. Its still a work in progress but I've written the first few chapters to see what response I get. It's my first time writing a fanfic so please feel free to give me some ideas and some feedback (please go easy aha) xoxo
> 
> All credit to the writer of the book 'the time travellers wife'- Audrey Niffenegger for her story.  
> Title is broken clocks by SZA

The first-time Bill meets Stan he’s 6 and Stan’s 24. It’s a Tuesday in August and the air is thick with humidity as Bill sneaks out into his back garden. He knows really he should ask before going outside, but the answer would’ve been no so if he didn’t ask then technically he hadn’t been told not to? His dad over the summer had taught him to ride a bike and Bill was starting to worry he’d forget, despite being told that once he learned he would always remember. Bill most definitely didn’t believe that. There wasn’t much time what with school and work for his Dad to take him out and as for his mum, she was so caught up with the arrival of his brother Georgie to do much either. So actually, he was doing them a favour in doing it by himself. He was taking “responsibility”, a word his teacher always used. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his parents face when they realised that he’d done it all by himself he thought to himself smiling, already feeling excitement for that moment to come.

Hopping off the steps, he ran to the bike where it lay resting on the side of the house. His dad had forgotten to put it away at the end of the summer but thankfully because of the hot weather no rain had rusted over its smooth paint work. The bike was a good bit bigger than Bill and still had stabilisers regardless of Bills protest to learn like Richie who had none at all on his. However, he’d rethought that after trying without them and falling, grazing his knees pretty badly too. Of course, his dad said I told you so but for the 5 seconds he was balanced he knew it was definitely worth it. Looking down at his knee, he admired the pirate themed plaster he’d pestered his mum about from their local pharmacy. It looked ready to come off but Bill knew his mum wouldn’t let him have another, so patting it down he pushed his bike onto the grass.  
This was going to be so cool, he’d finally be allowed out cycling with Richie when his parents saw how much he was going to improve. Impressing his parents was becoming quite a task as his baby brother was apparently the most interesting thing ever he thought grumbling. His mum had been harassing him all week about a rhyme she’d been trying to teach him and Bill knew if he could say it without a single stutter then maybe they’d be so happy they’d forget about Georgie, even just for a second. Smiling at his genius plan he walked across the garden with his bike, mumbling the beginnings of the poem.

“He th-th-thru-sts his fists against the puh-puh-puh” groaning as he went to start again, rubbing his forehead almost as if to wake his brain up. 

“-posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.” a voice finishes from behind him. Making him almost fall right off his bike and onto the grass.

“Woah, easy there buddy,” begins a tall man standing a few paces behind Bill. He’s wearing white bed sheets that his mum had hung out as a cloak, leaving only his head, a few stray curls that had escaped and his feet visible. He looks crazy bill thought as he took a few steps back. 

“Do you know who I am?” 

Bill doesn’t trust his voice at this point so he shakes his head slowly, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him. The man’s tone suggests that he should but Bill couldn’t remember ever meeting someone as strange as this before.

“hmm ok… so this must be the 12th of July 2005 and it’s a Tuesday, yeah?” he says this more like a statement than a question, smiling knowingly at Bill and it’s one of those smiles only adults know how to do. Like they know this big secret that you don’t. Those sort of smiles really annoyed Bill but this one in particular was getting on his nerves.  
He started to lower himself down to Bills height and began to talk to Bill again with the same smile on his face. 

“So I know this is really confusing but bare with me bud? Right ok, so you’re Bill and I’m Stanley but you call me Stan and this might sound crazy but I’m a time traveller and, in the future, we are really good friends.” His voice serious but gentle. This was all Bill needed to confirm this guy- Stan or Stanley is crazy. 

“n-nuh-no youre not, time-travellers du-don’t exist. I-if yu-you’re from the future then tell me su-su-something only su-someone from the fu-future would nuh-know.” Bill hadn’t yet realised he said this all out loud until Stan started to chuckle slightly. 

“oh yes they do, that’s how I know your name is William Denbrough and you’re six years-old. Your best friend is Richie Tozier and your bikes called sliver.” He says this almost as though he had learnt it off by heart.

“hmm y-you juh-just know things. That d-d-d-doesn’t mean you’re from the fu-fu-future.” He replied unconvinced, crossing his hands over his chest to hide their shaking. He couldn’t show his nerves, he needed to be brave, find out what this Stan guy was talking about. Like that detectives on his mum’s favourite show, CSJ or something.

“ok let me think… your friend Richie, who you call Trashmouth, is going to break his arm at the weekend after he falls out that big tree in his garden” he says now eyelevel with bill, the words “trashmouth” earning him a small smile.

“y-yeah but I w-wuh-won’t know until then iffff that actually happens. Y-you could just be lying?” Bill retorts back triumphantly, he wouldn’t be fooled that easy. He was like a proper detective at this point.

“well if you hang around long enough you might just see me disappear.”

“b-buh-but you just gu-got here…” Bill trails off, disappointed that this so-called time traveller didn’t have much time left with him.

“I’ll be back again,” Stan says nodding “lots of times. In fact, Billy you know what? I’ll be here on the 26th of this month, that’s two weeks away today, and you can tell me all about it then? How about that?” he says ruffling Bill’s hair. “I’ll need you to do me a favour though?”

Bill knows you don’t agree to things without fully hearing the ‘terms first’, that’s what his dad told him. Fixing his best poker face, hoping he didn’t look constipated like Richie had said he did the last time they’d practised, he looked back at Stan and hummed as if to ask what the favour was.  
“I’ll need you to bring me some clothes. You see, when I travel I don’t get to take my clothes with me, which is a huge problem. So, if you could just bring me some old clothes- something your Dad won’t miss that would be a great help. Put them at the quarry and we can meet there.” Bill giggled at this, that explained why he was wearing his parent’s bedsheets as clothes. 

“the 26th, t-tt-two w-weeks away at the quarry?” Bill asks, making sure. He definitely wasn’t allowed near the quarry alone but he’d think of an excuse when it came to it.

“you got it little man, I’ll be there at 4. Just after school.” Says Stan.

Stan looked sure looked normal. He didn’t look like an alien, in fact he kinda looked like he came from somewhere like Derry. “wh-wuh-where are you from?” Bill blurted, curious.  
“I’m from someplace not to long from here, and right now I’m the same age as you are somewhere.” He says, again with that knowing smile but it’s less annoying now. In fact, he could see himself liking this Stan guy. 

“It’s about time for me to be leaving I think.” Stan says with a sad smile as he slowly stood back up to his full height. Wow he was tall. Bills dad wasn’t even that tall. 

“wu-wuh-wait, can’t you stay l-luh-longer?” asked Bill pleading, he wanted to hear about their friendship and all the stuff they get up to together in the future.

“Unfortunately not Billy, it was nice to meet you” he said reaching his hand out for Bill to shake. Bill’s dad also taught him about handshakes and apparently, you could tell a lot about a person from them. This was his chance to really impress Stan he thought, shaking his hand as firmly as he could. 

“Quite a handshake you have there” Stan said his smile bigger than ever, making Bill blush hoping he didn’t notice his clammy hands as a result of his nerves. That would be embarrassing.

“I’ll see you soon” is the last thing Stan says before he completely vanishes in front of Bill. Bills mouth is nearly on the floor because whoa that was cool. He almost can’t believe that happened! He was like one of those super heroes on the TV. The bed sheet are now lying in front of him and Bill can’t help but laugh at the image of Stan wearing it. 

“William get back in- oh Bill I told you I was hanging a wash out, those sheets were clean!” his mum yelled from the door, exasperated pulling him back to reality. Of course, he was getting into trouble for something he didn’t do, he was so tempted to tell her Stan had in fact done this but decided maybe it was best to keep his new friend a secret. He couldn’t have anyone know. 

“su-suh-sorry mum, it just fuh-f-fell down” he said looking at his feet. He hated being shouted at and especially because THIS was unfair.  
“it’s ok Bill,” she sighed “but I’m still mad you didn’t ask to go outside, I need to know where you are ok? Go inside and wash your hands, dinners ready in ten” she said sounding slightly less mad. She wasn’t as bad as his dad when he got angry. He walked past her giving her a shy smile and she rolled her eyes laughing “you still have homework to do after dinner William, don’t start with the smiles” 

Later in bed that night Bill tossed and turned thinking about his new friend, Stan the time traveller. The 26th sure felt like a long way away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan meets Stan- Stanception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a really short one but more on the way !

The first time Stanley meets Stan he’s 6 and Stan is 19. He finds himself alone in a bed room and it’s definitely not his. He’s really never been more unsure of what to do. I mean he was stood naked in someone’s room without any idea of how he got there or why suddenly he was naked for that matter. One minute he was sat with his father and mother about to eat dinner and then nothing. He looked around frantically for something to cover himself with, jumping at the noise of footsteps and a deep voice approaching the door. He was so in trouble. 

“Ah-ha! I knew it” sounds a voice as the door swings open. A tall curly haired boy is stood looking directly at him smiling, radiating so much excitement Stanley feels it pass through him. He’s wearing casual clothes that remind Stanley of the ones he sees older boys at school wear sometimes and has a kind face surrounded by curls that match Stanley’s nearly identically. The boy practically screams normal, other than the weird entrance he just made and this electrical aura that pulses around him. He throws Stanley a shirt.

“where am I?” Stanley asks his voice small and confused not understanding what the boy meant by ‘I knew it’.

“Right now, you’re in my room, I go to College here” he says, his voice now gentle contrasting with how loud he was to begin with. He sounded like one of Stanley’s teachers when they explained something big to the class, all calm and reassuring. 

“oh ok,” Stanley says biting his lip, unsure of what to say. “w-what’s your name?”

“my name is Stanley” he says as he sits down on the bed next to Stanley, his voice still steady. 

“aw what mine too!” Stanley says shocked making the other Stanley laugh quietly, his eyes shining.

“that’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” he says still smiling as he leans forward. 

“yeah I guess it is” he replies with a matching smile on his own face.

“you know what’s cooler though” he asks.

“what?” Stanley asks sceptically, sure already whatever he was going to say wouldn’t top that they had matching names, cos that was so cool.

“I’m a time traveller and guess what?” he asks handing Stanley a photo of what looked like his own father and mother. He puts his finger between them and points to a boy that Stanley immediately knew was in fact him. “You are too.”

Without warning or time to process Stanley blinked, and found himself back in his house and in his own room.

“woah…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave feedback pls !!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill is 8 and Stan is 21.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is one of the last chapters i'll put up for a bit, just so I can see the response to the work so far :)

Stan’s visits were regular occurrence to Bill at this point. He came every year at different times and was always a different age. However, no matter the age he was, he was always the Stan Bill had first met, iridescent and something completely unfathomable to Bill. He wondered if he’d always been that way.

It was the beginning of July 2007’s summer and Bill is 8 and Stan is 21. Their meeting place stayed the same as always; the quarry, and Bill always left clothes out for Stan the night before just to be extra sure he got them. The second time they’d met Stan wrote out all the dates he’d visit Bill just so he didn’t have to wait. Stan never wanted Bill wait or to feel disappointed if he didn’t come so the list seemed like the ideal solution. 

Bill’s parents were still busy as ever especially with Georgie as he was now 2. Georgie’s first word was Bill and that was the moment that Bill made it his mission to be ten times better of a big brother to Georgie. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Georgie before, it was just envy at Georgie getting so much attention and Bill constantly being shouted at by his stressed parents for trying to help. Stan had told him that in the future Georgie and Bill are like best friends so it was even more motivation for Bill to take an interest in his brother. Stan gave great advice Bill thought as he cycled down the dirt path to their meeting place, the dust from the gravel blowing in the air as he flew past. Sliver was now getting slightly easier to ride as Bill grew and he could finally go out with Richie and Mike on his bike. Unsupervised and without stabilizers.

When he gets to the meeting point Stan is already there, tying his shoe laces. Bill always tries to find clothes that fit Stan but because of the large height difference between Stan and his Dad a lot of the trousers finish high on Stan’s legs. But hey, at least it’s not bedsheets. It was definitely weird seeing Stan in his Dad’s clothes and even weirder to hide from his Dad because he could never find half of his clothes. Bill had often been put on trial by his Dad about the missing clothes but always feigned innocence, which was extremely difficult when you have a stutter just waiting to give you away. His stutter may not have improved but his lying certainly had. His dad eventually gave up interrogating him, but still occasionally mutters “clothes can’t just disappear” and when Bill had told Stan about this, Stan laughed because he of all people knew what it was like for your clothes to vanish.

“well if it isn’t Billiam Wenbrough.” Stan says with a smile, looking up at the sound of Sliver’s screeching brakes.

“B-buh-Billiam Wenbrough…Y-you’re w-wuh-worse than Richie.” Bill replies trying to sound irritated at the nickname, however the smile he has on his face is growing by the minute making any chance of coming across annoyed extremely low.

“How’s school going then Billy?” he asks still with his signature simile on his face. Stan was always really interested in how Bills day had been and although it was a small thing to ask Bill always appreciated it. Stan was just a great listener overall and it happened to be one of Bill’s favourite things about him.

“It w-was ok, Rich g-guh-got into trouble f-f-for teaching some f-f-first graders s-some curses. H-he g-guh-gu-got a phone call home a-and ev-verything…” he answers pausing trying to think what else happened that day, suddenly forgetting everything now put on the spot. “W-we had ar-rt and w-we made little bu-bu-bird houses, muh-my D-dad is guh-gonna hang mine up.”

“same old Richie then I guess,” Stan says looking fondly at his hands. “Bird watching is one of my favourite things you know? Always loved it for whatever reason, calms me down I think. Bit weird but still, I could’ve been one of those weirdo’s who collects stamps or something” he laughs when he says this and so does Bill. Bill wouldn’t laugh at Stan for what he liked, Richie always teased him for liking school and he didn’t really mind, but this was different. This was Stan. Stan had once told him that he needed a strict routine in his life otherwise he’d “fall apart” and because it was stressful he had hobbies. Bill would rather Stan was happy and calm doing something as obscure as birdwatching, than him being stressed and falling apart. He really did not want that at all.

“S-stuh-stan, when you w-went to school… D-duh-did you like it?” he asked hesitantly. Stan hadn’t ever said much about his school and Bill couldn’t help but be curious. 

“Mmm, to be honest with you I didn’t mind but because I’m Jewish I used to get teased quite a bit,” Stan’s eyes looked glassy and sad for a moment before they recovered just as quickly “but yeah I suppose I didn’t mind it. Used to love all the science stuff.”

“O-oh im s-s-sorry…” Bill felt bad now for asking, he couldn’t believe people had been nasty to someone as nice as Stan. “the b-buh-boys in my class s-sometimes make fun of m-muh-my s-s-s-stutter bu-but I don’t mind. I-I du-don’t really like science bu-buh-but I like English.” Bill had never been a big fan of science or math, too many numbers and everything was so one way, only ever one answer.

“hey its ok no need to apologise and the boys in your class are idiots remember that, I’m glad you have Richie and Mike. Yeah? Well if you ever need help with homework just ask away.” 

“wo-ow thanks Stan” Bill felt really anxious all of a sudden about not being interested in science. What if Stan was really sad he didn’t like it? Bills mum was hopeless at science and his Dad always just over complicated it when explaining it, so maybe with Stan’s help he could actually be really good at it?

“not a problem bud” he says smiling warmly. 

Stan really is Bill’s best friend besides Richie and Mike. He would never tell them about him mainly because Richie would freak out and also because he’s Bills friend, they have adventures and everything in the future. Its silent for a moment until Bill asks, “when du-do we m-mu-meet?” 

Stan turns around and for a minute it looks like he might actually tell bill but he just sticks his tongue out and says “no spoilers Billy”.

Bill pouts arms folded over his chest, hoping if he looks upset maybe Stan will let it slip. Instead Stan ruffles his hair and says,

“Where’s the fun in you knowing about your whole life before it even happens”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always lemme know what you think !


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite short but I'm working on a few longer chapters x

Stan’s life after his first travel was never the same. Growing up in an intensely religious household meant Stan’s parents were convinced that young Stanley was possessed by some great evil. They didn’t love him less but there was always in look in Stanley’s father’s eyes that screamed fear. Not a fear of Stan, but of what he could do. At 6 Stan hadn’t noticed the change, but now 8 Stan knew the look in his father’s eyes too well. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t tear him apart. The look would appear after a travel and would stay for days after. A constant, painful reminder of something Stan couldn’t help doing. Something he couldn’t stop doing.

Stan’s mum on the other hand was more protective after it had happened. She was freaked out to say the least but she was there. Something Stan had hoped both his parents would do but he would settle for one instead. His mum was probably the only reason Stan wasn’t at temple every day to cleanse himself of his sin. Stan wasn’t sure what he’d done but it was obviously bad, because despite how cool being a time traveller sounds it comes along with a whole lot of pain. There was nothing cool about reliving the darkest moments of your life. It was hell, which seemed fitting considering what his father thought. Older Stanley had promised him that things eventually did get better with his Father but he couldn’t exactly say how. The phrase no spoilers had been used.

Stan didn’t do well in large groups. Too crowded and no order. Two things he Stan didn’t find any happiness in. Large groups meant the unknown. Instead Stan stuck to what he did know- Ben and Beverly. Although some people chase the idea of popularity Stan had never seen the point in it. He’d rather be genuinely friends with people than just be in a group. Somehow that would feel way more isolating. They were his only friends and that was ok for all of them. They all preferred it that way so there was never a moment of someone being abandoned. They were a team, a unit.

Stan remembered when they first found out that he could travel. There was a fear that was so deeply rooted in Stan that they would never look at him the same. He was right they didn’t but the look wasn’t disgust or fear, it was respect and trust.

It had happened all at once. One second, they were all together in Bens garden, the sun hot and their fingers tacky from ice poles, and the next Stan was alone. Not even sticky fingers from his ice lolly could help him cling to June 2007. Stan met his parents that day. They were around 20 but it was definitely them. In a way it made him sad to go back to that point in their lives, it felt private; like he was intruding. They were having an argument and if he could disappear he would’ve but he didn’t have a choice. He’d just have to wait and watch. Being 8 at the time Stan wasn’t really sure what to do other than walk around the town centre time had taken him back too. If he walked he could go back quicker. But could he go back? Ben and Bev had definitely seen. Stan’s heart ached. His only friends would never see him the same way again. Stan must have been there for only a couple minutes before he felt himself being dragged back through. When he got back he lay on the grass in Ben’s garden while Bev and Ben stood confused but not scared. His whole body was caved in on itself, in the fetial position and he waited for it. Waited for the screams and the horror. But nothing came. A gentle hand had touched his back instead. The care he had longed for from his own father was returned by his best friends. After a long explanation, Ben and Bev were still in awe and slightly spooked but they understood. Ben had started to talk about the X-men and how Stan could actually take a famous person from the past to dinner. This earned him an elbow in the ribcage from Bev but Stan felt like the luckiest person alive. Its funny how when you’re young even the craziest thing couldn’t faze you, Ben and Bev were acting like nothing happened, as if Stan didn’t just do something the world considers to be fiction. They understood that their friendship was worth more than that. 

8-year-old Stan decided that he was content with no spoilers at that point in time. He knew that he had still had people who loved him. He may not have his Dad always, but his older self had given him hope that one day things would improve, that things between him and his Dad weren’t lost completely. Stan’s dad is a proud man rarely accepting blame or any wrong doing, but if he had to wait he would. He sat with Ben and Bev, looking at their grazed knees and sunburnt noses and decided they were as big as his problems would get at that age and if things didn’t get better it didn’t matter. As far as Stan was concerned this was just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more soon !


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill is 13 and Stan is 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter in the fic for sure, I'm trying to make them longer but I want to write a lot more than I am at the moment but we'll see how it goes !

At 13, all Bill wanted was independence. He longed to feel grown up now more than ever. This was partly because he wanted Stan to view him differently now as he was a ‘real teenager’ and also because of his desire for freedom. He was now in 8th grade and still had to be back before 7pm. Richie and Mike could stay out as late as they wanted, but as soon as Bill had asked to stay out later his mum had dismissed the idea completely. It had taken Bill awhile to work up the courage to even ask as he had a rough idea of what she would say and he knew probably wouldn’t like the answer he got from her either. Sharon was not unfair and her reasons were rational, it was just he didn’t want to be babied. Georgie had went missing last year in a storm and the town had been on high alert since. When they’d found him, he was hurt pretty badly and the doctors nearly had to amputate his arm due to the severity of his injuries. It had really shaken all of them, but Sharon started to become increasingly protective and of course it was nice to be cared about, but it felt suffocating sometimes. It wasn’t that Bill didn’t care about what happened, but just nearly a year and a bit later with Georgie fully healed, he’d thought his mum would stop micro-managing him. Bill wasn’t used to being the main priority of his mum and he wasn’t sure how to adjust. Georgie had always been her main concern and it used to bother Bill until he realised being under her watchful eye was much worse. Stan’s advice as usual was to let her do what she needs to do, that way she’s reassured that they’re ok. Bill was definitely sure half the things she ‘needs’ to do aren’t necessary but Stan was older than him and probably knew better, that and falling out with his mum wasn’t on his list of priorities. 

“Du-do you th-think she’ll loosen up wuh-wuh-when Georgie g-gets better?” he asks a 28-year-old Stanley, kicking the gravel around his feet, feeling some pieces on the inside of his shoes.

“Bill you need to give her time, I know it’s annoying but seriously you’re probably making her more worried by pushing her away, you’re lucky she cares.” Stan replies with a slight edge to his voice. He’d arrived in a foul mood and Bill wasn’t sure what he had done. Stanley was rarely in a bad mood but today was the worst Bill had seen him. It was kind of off putting really and the way Stan was speaking to Bill felt patronising. 

“W-wuh-whats wrong with y-you Gr-gr-grumpy pants?” Bill says trying to lighten the dull mood Stanley had brought with him, his pronounced stutter giving away his anxiousness. 

“Nothing I’m fine, just the life in the future is a bit shit right now. I’m fine it’s just- I-I shouldn’t really even say anything about it” he says with a sad smile, nudging Bill in the ribs. Stan had only recently started to curse around Bill and to Bill this meant Stan was finally talking to him like the older boys do with each other. It felt special, even if it was just cursing. 

“W-wuh-well you can’t say that an-and nu-nu-nuh-not tttell me…” Bill trails off and trying to hide his smile. Something Stan had a bad habit of was he would begin a story and never finish because of the ‘no spoilers rule’. An unfinished story always annoyed the writer in Bill, his curiosity never really finding an answer.

“You know I can’t tell you Billy boy, but nice try.” Stan says with a smirk.

“Awww c-cuh-come on, p-p-please?” he pleads. Normally he wouldn’t push because it’s the same answer every time but the way Stan was acting was really weird. 

“Fine, let’s just say sometimes you’re a little shit” Stan rolls his eyes groaning, there is no nastiness to his words just teasing.

“Am not! An-an-and even i-fff-f I am you should k-kuh-know that by now” Bill glares at him jokingly and feels like the Stan he lov-likes is back again. It’s funny how people can switch moods so quickly. Whenever Bills dad was in a mood he was the complete opposite, he’d been in a mood or days after, passively aggressively mentioning things from months ago and storming about. Bill knew now what to do when Zach was in one of those moods: just simply avoid him at all costs or face a frosty reception, a shouting match and a lack of patience with his stutter. 

“ok so you’re always a little shit then” He fires back, eyes gleaming. Bill shoves him weakly in protest making a mock sad face. What if he really is the reason Stan’s annoyed? Maybe that’s why he’s been grumpy with him because his future self is being ‘a little shit’? He makes a mental note that he’ll try be patient with Stan in the future even if he’s annoyed at him.

Noticing the look of worry on Bills face he adds, “Nah I kid I kid, just really stressed you know? I’ve been travelling a lot recently because of it and its just kinda annoying with my job and that.”

Bill knew Stan wasn’t exactly happy with his ‘gift’ or ‘curse’ as Stan called it but seeing him this stressed and sad hurt Bill. It wasn’t even that Bill just felt sorry for him, he really just couldn’t bare seeing Stan this way. The whole travelling thing had always been really cool to him but of course unless you actually have to deal with it first-hand its completely different. He’d had conversations before about the pros and cons of travelling with Stan and the only pro Stan came up with was that he met Bill. Considering Stan has travelled most of his life it made him sad that he’d hated nearly all of it. He wondered if Stan had ever found travelling fun at all. Not only that but for whatever reason Stan is now ‘stressed’. Thinking about Stan being nervous and jumpy all the time was strange. He always just seemed really calm in contrast to Bill who was always fumbling and twitching. He’d told Bill about the bird watching and this meditation thing he does to de-stress and it was now obvious that none of that was working. Bill was used to Stan saying all the right things to him whenever he was upset and now it was Bills turn to attempt to sound as wise as him. However, in that moment his throat was already starting to close up, unable to say anything to comfort Stan. How convenient. Words could flow easily in his brain onto a page but get lost at some point trying to escape his mouth. It was like being trapped in his own head sometimes. Nancy, one of the many speech therapist his parents had sent him to, said he needed to stop being frustrated when he couldn’t say something because apparently it makes it worse. He remembers the patronising look on her face as she tried to get him to recite a tongue twister filled with S. Never again. It’s all easy enough for people to say to calm down and try again, but at least they can say their own name without nearly passing out. His speech was a work in progress but again now 13, he wanted to at least be able to say a sentence without choking on air and having someone end up finishing it for him. 

“w-wuh-well I-I wouldn’t b-be too hard on y-yourself. I-I can’t im-m-ma… I don’t u-understand but I-I-I know it must b-buh-buh-be difficult. I-I hope future muh--muh-me is taking it easy o-oh-on-n you and is tu-tuh-taking you to a pu-pu-park to bird watch or s-s-something and if I’m not… then y-yuh-you have permission to b-b-beat me up cos I c-c-cant really do that to m-muh-myself.” His face slightly red, with the determination to get all the words out he needed to say and slight embarrassment at his struggle to even get them out at all. Stan always waits patiently for him to finish, never makes him feel ashamed when the words just won’t come, “I w-wuh-wuh-would never be angry at you, it’s something you can’t c-c-cuh-control.” He adds quietly. This earns a small laugh from Stan and that same all-knowing smile Bill was now accustomed too. 

“I know you wouldn’t Bill” he says as he looks at his folded hands on his lap, “you’re one of the only people who doesn’t get annoyed, you always have- even from the first moment we met- been so understanding, like when I first met you it was already like you knew how to handle everything so well. You just took things in your stride, like nothing would faze you.”

It was scary sometimes the way Stan talks about Bill. Not in a bad way of course. It’s just this Stan already knows Bill, knows his older self, knows Bill before knows himself, and Bill had never thought of himself as this patient and extremely strong person. No one he knew now would describe him like that. Richie and Mike joked with him sometimes, calling him Big Bill teasingly because he so obviously just wasn’t. He was lanky and quiet, nothing Big or bold about him other than his long limbs. It was kinda intense the way Stan looked at Bill sometimes, so much belief and admiration. No one looks at Bill that way and when the person you admire the most is looking back at you like that, it is an incredibly strange feeling. It made him anxious that he needed to live up to everything Stan knows him as in the future, he couldn’t fall short. 

Bill wished he was a time traveller. Wished younger Stan would appear so he could hug him, tell him before anyone else could that he is so special, literally a superhero and the reason he feels so alone is because the world just isn’t ready for someone as cool as him. Tell him even without the time travelling as well Stan would always have been great, would always have been Bills best friend. He wants to tell him all this now but the words don’t come, won’t come. So, he settles for, 

“w-w-w-well I guess it’s different b-buh-buh-because I already knew you… n-n-n-not mmmm-much of a surprise you could time t-t-travel” he says lamely. 

“yeah, you’re right but still, I think you’ll understand better what I mean when you meet me. Hope you’re not disappointed by our first meeting either.” He finishes laughing.

“W-wuh-why w-w-would I be disappointed?” he asks puzzled. 

“well I would tell you but no spoilers” he says looking pleased with himself for making Bill glare.

“S-s-s-stan! I hate it w-w-wuh-when you d-d-o that” Bill groans, tilting his head back to look at the sky.

“I know but I’m annoying like that” he says smugly, shrugging his shoulders. Stan has always been good at comebacks, definitely not good like a trashmouth comeback but still a good attempt.

“hmmm ok-k then I g-guh-guess we cant be ffff-friends then.” Bill sighs dramatically as he begins to walk away pretending to be angry but the smile on his face is so big you could hear it in his voice.

“oh no come back! What have I done” Stan’s voice is robotic like as he laughs through his sentence. He runs and grabs Bills shirt, tugging him backwords. 

“Luh-luh-let go” Bill screams laughing, shaking Stan by his shoulders. His face hurts from smiling and he can’t help but smile more at Stan equally happy face. Sounds of their laughter fill the quarry as they shove each other about, knocking their heads together. It was moments like this when Bill realised how lonely he really is. His house is no longer the lively musical place it once was. Sharon too busy to play the piano or try pretend nothing happened and try normalcy. Zach busy as always doing anything but spend time with Bill, and Georgie the centre of his mum’s world, unaffected by everything because someone would take care of it for him. Well at least one of them was fine. 

The only time Bill felt truly alive was with Stan or Richie and Mike. Richie and Mike are his best friends of course but three is a crowd sometimes and despite Bill being seen as their so-called leader, Bill longed for something else, someone like Stan. He wished wherever younger Stan is he’d hurry up doing whatever he was doing so they could meet. It was probably selfish anyway, he has his two best friends but looking at Stan just made Bill feel warm. Stan has an energy that almost pulses around him. Stan told him it was just because of travelling and normally it’s not there, but Bill doesn’t believe him. Stan has proven to have very little faith he is remotely special and it’s sad to think someone is so blind to their own power. However, the older Stan is when he visits Bill the more confident he is, and Bill really hopes he played a part in that. Knowing he made Stan feel better would be enough.  
They continue playfighting in the Derry sun for what feels like hours until he meets Stan’s warm, smiling eyes only for a second before Bill is left alone with a familiar pile of clothes around him. He feels cold again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is appreciated x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is 14.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wait ! I've been super busy but hope this is enjoyable. sidenote- I know there are no Samuels in the book or movie however there is one in this chapter because Henry doesn't come into the story until later.

Patrick Hockstetter was the main reason Stan hated school. Patrick in fact was the reason many of those in Stan’s grade also hated school. So far he had been doing an ok job of blending in or as much as he could with friends that also were main targets of Patrick. Beverly was known as the school slut because of a rumour a girl called Greta had spread earlier that year after her boyfriend said Bev was the prettiest girl in their grade. Apparently, Bev had been with half the school and despite her cool façade that it didn’t bother her, Stan knew that it did. He guessed she put the front up so Ben wouldn’t feel so bad. However arguably she was the reason that Ben was upset about everything. It was no secret Ben had always struggled with his weight but any chance of it being one was completely out of the question thanks to constant fat jokes. Ben as usual would be the first to laugh but Stan knew just like Bev it bothered him. Maybe even more so due to his long-time crush on Bev. Stan at this point had memorised the way Ben would look after insults were said in front of her. His face would turn so red that Stan feared he had actually managed to pop all the blood vessels in his face, and he would cringe almost into himself. It was strange, if it had only been said to him it would’ve been fine, but if Bev heard it was ten times worse. Really it was probably because Ben wanted to look good in front of her, but Stan hadn’t felt like that for anyone and could sympathise but not really understand. It was pretty much decided by Stan himself that he wouldn’t look for love because of his ‘condition’. He didn’t want to burden someone with a life of waiting. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Ben, a shameless hopeless romantic found this to be the ‘most poetic’ thing he’d heard. He was always understanding of Stan and although he didn’t exactly encourage Stanley’s pessimistic view, he wouldn’t dare say anything out of respect. Unlike Ben, Beverly had a few choice words to say about Stan’s decision and had told him to snap out of it because being so negative wasn’t going to get him anywhere, to which Stan had replied that was the point. Again, he knew she was only frustrated because she cared but he’d rather she’d stay as neutral as possible about that specific decision. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to love or feel love from someone, that wasn’t in his nature, but how could he subject someone to a life of uncertainties, a life of when and never now. He wouldn’t do it and besides he definitely wasn’t going to find love in Hick’s town USA.

 

Being Jewish in a town that has a badly covered up hatred for anyone that isn’t white and Christian wasn’t easy already, and Stanley knew all too well the fight his dad and the small population of those who also identified as Jewish were up against there. Stanley’s dad had always been proud of his culture and rightly so, however this meant as a Rabbi he expected his son also to be. It wasn’t that Stan wasn’t proud, it was just he didn’t want another reason to be picked on. When Stan had first started wearing his kippah to school, he wasn’t blind to the fact that he’d probably get some bother for it. He’d tried to tell his dad but again he was lectured about being proud of his community, so although it wasn’t his decision he knew it would hurt his dad more if he didn’t, so the kippah was going to be worn. Up until then he hadn’t really been hit too badly by the wrath of Hockstetter and his goons but Stan was no fool and he knew it would only be a matter of time. It had started off with the casual name or insult being thrown at him or getting his seat kicked in English, nothing Stan couldn’t deal with himself. He knew to beat them at their own game he could never appear bothered, never let them see him sweat. However soon Patrick decided that the casual but aggressive shoulder brushes in the corridor and the nickname ‘birdboy’ weren’t enough anymore and that’s when it escalated. 

 

Stan had been walking down the corridor, making his way to the buses when it happened. Patrick came out of the gym hall, flanked by two boys in his year, vicious smirks painted on their faces, unflinching as Stan made very brief eye contact with them. FUCK was the only thought Stan had running through his mind as he willed his feet to carry him to the car park as fast as possible. The buses were known to be early and with Stan being at least a couple minutes late there was no chance he was going to get to them, especially if Patrick had anything to do with it. Although they’d been physical before with him he never would have actually thought they’d try to beat him up, that had always seemed very much out of the question considering he wasn’t really their main target. As he passed each corridor the reality of the situation was closing in and if Stan couldn’t get his stress levels under control he would travel right there and then, which would leave a whole lot of questions. He had to get out. 

 

The sounds of hyena like laughter and the squeaks of rubber soles on the floor filled the corridor behind Stan and he was convinced he wouldn’t make it, until the doors of the school came into view, lighting up the floor in front of him. Racing towards them he pushed them open with such a forced they swung violently open and Stan prayed no one had been standing near them. He had just about made it to the bin next to the bus stop outside the school when a voice sounded from behind him, filling him with dread. 

 

“woah there Stanny boy, you’re in a bit of a rush. We just want to talk” Patrick shouted mockingly, looking at his friends afterwards for approval, gaining him fist bumps and shouts of “yeah!” in unison, it made Stan’s stomach turn. 

 

“My bus is coming so I don’t have time, maybe another day.” He replied back coolly. He knew appearing not bothered was normally enough to get them off his back but something in Patrick’s smile just screamed that giving up wasn’t going to happen today.

 

“Listen to me Beak don’t get cheeky, I’ll decided if our conversations over,” Patrick whispered, his voice dangerously low. Normally Stan would have laughed at his nickname ‘Beak’. The name had come about originally because of how his nose looked from side profile but thank fully his nose had never been something he was overly bothered by. Patrick’s eyes had become dark and had something violent in them and Stan knew not to mess around this time “besides by the looks of it you’ve missed your bus, we can keep you company” At this point Patrick was inches away from Stan, and he was breathing out the last words making hot air blow onto Stan’s face. Disgusting.

It all happened at once, he felt air rush from the top of his head and hard hands pushing him to the ground. Before he could process what was happening, he was sprawled out on the grass and Samuel, one of Patricks goons had his Kippah in his hand, waving it tauntingly in front of him. 

 

“Give it back you jerk” he yelled trying to grasp it and failing much to the hilarity of Patrick who was red in the face from laughter. They tossed it back and forth making a game out of it until the familiar sound of a bus came from behind Stan. He knew it was probably one from the other school near there, there was no chance he could escape. He made a mental note never to go to after school study sessions again.

 

“Nice Frisbee flamer” Samuel laughed as he chucked the kippah into the on-going traffic, the cruel smirk never leaving his face. The three-boy’s laughter filled the air as they closed in around him and Stan had all but excepted his fate when Mrs Betties, the very brightly clothed home ec teacher came bursting out the front doors of the school.

 

“Patrick you owe me a detention and as for you three, I think you should all get going or I will be forced to take you in for one too.” Her voice was sickly sweet and it was clear she was no one to be messing with. She stood with her arms crossed tapping her foot impatiently, pursing her lips. Yes, definitely not someone to be arguing with, despite her headache inducing fuschia pink outfit that looked more clown like than strong women. But hey Stan wasn’t going to complain, she just saved his life. 

 

Groaning Patrick rolled his eyes before grinning at his friends as they walked off, proud of their handy work. Whistling he jogged back up the steps before turning to look at Stanley in the eyes, Stan felt his blood run cold. There was something in them that was so unsettling it made him feel like it was more than just Patrick behind those eyes. Of course, everyone thought he was mad already but there was something in them that particular day Stanley would remember for forever.

 

When he had finally made it back home he had told his father he had lost his kippah when he travelled and hoped he didn’t question the grass stains on his shirt and bruised knees Stanley now had. It was obvious it was a lie and he knew the Rabbi would just ask Ben and Beverly what happened next time they were round, but in that moment, Stan would rather his father didn’t worry and would just leave it. He didn’t have the energy for a row about standing up to the bullies that night. Or any night for that matter. He knew from now on he’d have to ask Bev or Ben to wait and walk to the buses with him, there was no chance he would go through that again. 

 

It was the first time Stan had wished that he had actually travelled instead of what happened, and he didn’t know what was worse – that he would’ve wanted to do something he despised so much or that he wouldn’t have minded being caught travelling either. A feeling of over whelming sadness weighed in the centre of Stan’s chest as he sat with his parents for dinner. A silent tear fell gently from his eye as he gazed intensely at the table cloth in front of him. He pretended he didn’t feel his mums hand slide over to squeeze his. He pretended he didn’t see Bev’s face of pity when he told her what happened. He pretended to be bothered at all. He didn’t want comfort or sympathy. He wanted to fit in for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor stan :(, more soon from Bill ! please leave feedback xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what you think!


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